Thursday, November 18, 2010

Every Single Pee Wee's Playhouse Secret Word Ever.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

How To Sound Like The Knife, From A Dude That Apparently Doesn't Like The Knife All That Much.

Very rarely is a band’s unique sonic character defined by a single effect but honestly, all songwriting and execution aside, there isn’t much that is wholly distinctive about the group insofar as sounds are concerned. The beats aren’t revolutionary and could very well have come from any can of prefab loops. The synth sounds are fairly generic and not treated in any inventive new way. The album itself is fairly quiet by today’s standards, perhaps attributable to a Swedish mastering job.


Student Hides Rickroll In College Paper.

Via Gizmodo.

Time Traveler Caught In Charlie Chaplin Film.

What a nice accent that young man has.

Millimeters Matter - Tiny Catupult Shooting Pies At Bugs.

A tiny catapult shooting pies at bugs. No really.


Via skelter helter's Tumblr.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

18 Months Of Braces In Under 60 Seconds.

Awesome. Eww. Awesome.

The George W Bush Presidential Library Will Be Awesome.


From Gawker.

Bomb Squad Sent To Diffuse... A Box Full Of Kittens.

From Gizmodo.


EAT SH*T is an interactive collaboration between Nullsleep and NO CARRIER. Running on an NES, the project starts by playing a controllable performance of Bach's Minuet In G. However, as the player exerts more control, the graphics and sound begin to disintegrate.

Guile's Theme Goes With Everything: Army Of Darkness

Pretty much my favorite of this entire meme.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The McRib Locator And Related Links To Feed Your Obsession.

The McRib Locator.
Cracked's Topic Page on the Mcrib.
Deconstructing The McRib.
Wikipedia page on the Simpsons episode based on the McRib. Also, Simpsons Wiki.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Flirting With A Westboro Baptist Church Man.


The 40 Worst Rob Liefeld Drawings Ever.


A Guide To All The "Suspected" Gay Characters In World Of Warcraft.

Disclaimer: There are no confirmed cases of gay characters by the World of Warcraft developers. Most of these are either Belligerent Sexual Tension, wishful thinking, or a little bit of both. Regardless, it’s fun to imagine that Azeroth isn’t completely heteronormative.

From Border House.

Blast Ads, Links, And Pics Away With Fun Asteroids-Style Game.

Go here to check it out. It even includes a link you can drag up to your bookmarks bar so you can attack all your favorite web pages.

Joe The Plumber Steps In To Support Teabagger Pro-Puppy Mill Lobbying.

Yeah, you heard that right. Human cartoon character well-past his 15 minutes Joe The Plumber is the new "celebrity" face of a Missouri Tea Bagger pro-puppy mill lobbying movement. The movement seeks to strike down a bill which will attempt to eliminate the 3,000 brutal puppy mills in the state.

It's like the dude is just seeking to align himself with the most repellent movements he can put his name on. Hey, I've got a wardrobe suggestion for Joe The Plumber-

Or, you know, you could just go back to your farm and resume whittling. Just go the fuck away.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Monday, September 20, 2010

Cracked's DOB Weighs In On Andrew WK's Twitter

"What Andrew WK's Twitter Taught Me About Life" by Daniel O'Brien.

How Old Is David Hasslehoff, Jennifer Grey, Florence Henderson?

David Hasslehoff: born July 17, 1952
Jennifer Grey: born March 26, 1960
Florence Henderson: born February 14, 1934

You're welcome.

A Pair Of Crazy, Conspiracy-Themed Bills I Got Once.

A couple of real bills I recieved as part of my tipout from a bar I used to work at about 5 years ago:
$10: "The case of Donna Dial of Round Rock, Texas was a sad one of a bright young woman gone insane with paranoid schizophrenia purely from a biological dysfunction in her brain. This is obvious to anyone who watched her ceaselessly wandering & chaotic description of her beliefs & the tears of her mother that witnessed her decline before Donna killed her and her landlord in a delusion (watch "The System *illegible*" on CourtTV). But the prosecutor in Williamson County insisted she was sane, which resulted in Dial being sent to prison rather than a mental hospital. This barbarity could only occur where primitive religion saturates the culture as it does there. Remember Thomas Willis. Tax exemptions for religion coerce Atheists to subsidize it. National God mottoes coerce pretend religious belief. These laws are unjust and unconstitutional. NO JUST GOD WOULD EVER ALLOW EVIL. FREE WILL IS A BAD JOKE. Do you understand that insanity (what the supernatural religious call "demon possession") is a purely internal neurological organizational dysfunction that can be transmitted by verbal command?"

$5: "Somebody ought to tell the truth about the bible. The preachers dare not because they would be driven from their pulpits. Professors dare not, because they would lose their salaries. Politicians dare not, they would be defeated. Editors dare not, they would lose subscribers. Merchants dare not because they might lose customers. Men of fashion dare not, because they might lose caste. Even clerks dare not because they might be discharged. And so I thought I might do it myself."- Robert G Ingersoll (About The Holy Bibile, 1894 y.b.m.*) *y.b.m.= years of a big myth. IS THIS THE SAME GOD THAT ORDERED THE SLAUGHTER OF WOMEN AND CHILDREN (deut 3:24 & 21:17-18). Read The Bible According To Mark Twain. Religious bragging notwithstanding, the bible is not the greatest work of literature. The book of numbers is mind-numbing. Twain and Shakespeare are better. Tax exemptions for religion coerce Atheists to subsidize it. National God mottoes coerce pretend religious belief. These laws are unjust and unconstitutional."

Seriously, even clerks.


Ganked from Julia Segal's Tumblr.

Strongbad Email: Virus - BACKWARDS

The Homestar Pants Dance.

I'll admit that this goes on for about three times as long as it should, but I found the first 30 seconds of this funny enough to make it worth sharing.

And if it takes me posting every single crappy bootleg Youtube Homestar homage to get the Brothers Chaps to put out a new fucking cartoon, by God I'll do it.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

"How To Build A Little Birdhouse In Your Soul" - Search Of The Day 09/17/2010

via Search Of The Day, and an excuse to reuse the "They Might Be Giants" tag.

Space Fantasy Zone "Walk"through.

I FINALLY SCORED A WORKING COPY OF THIS GAME. Yay me. I was stoked about making a playthrough video, then found out someone beat me to it.

So, here's that:

I like how the guy doing the playthrough grabs the shopkeeper's boobs. Every. Single. Time.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Guy Who Wrote The "Jumping The Shark" Episode Of Happy Days Weighs In On The Phrase.

And, in defending it, seems to completely misunderstand what the phrase actually means.
Fortunately, my career didn't jump the shark after "jump the shark." When "Happy Days" ended, I went directly to the ABC Paramount hit show "Webster" and, after that, wrote and produced, among others, "It's Your Move," "He's the Mayor, "The New Leave It to Beaver" and "Family Matters." In 1987, Brian Levant and I created the action comedy "My Secret Identity," which won an International Emmy.

Yelp Reviewer Gives 1 Star Review To Restaurant That Hasn't Opened Yet

"My wife and I were downtown and had recently read a review of Graham Elliot Bowles new endever, a sandwich shop. The Chicago magazine made it seem like an enteresting spot and Chef Bowles is a happening food personality, the only problem is the joint isn't open yet. It was a pleasant walk ruined..."

From The Consumerist.

Justin Bieber Gets Hit With A Grenade

KMFDM - A Drug Against War On Beavis And Butthead

The Birth Of Dayman From It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

Haven't reached a point where this show really sticks with me, but this routine is pretty awesome.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Please To Go Fuck Off To Juggalo Island.

Yeah, I'm not sure I can appreciate the artistic direction Smashmouth appears to be going in this video.

Seriously tho, they're releasing their feelgood summer hit in early September? It's like they're not even trying to do anything right.

But hey, if they want to ship themselves all out to an island I'm all for it. Please be in no hurry to come back.

Rich Cronin Interview On Howard Stern

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Glenn Shadix Discussing His "Ex-Gay" Shock Therapy As A Teenager.

Glenn Shadix, known for his role as Otho in Beetlejuice, discussing the "Ex-Gay" shock therapy he experienced as a teenager. Brutal stuff.

Shadix passed away Tuesday, September 7th.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Every Video Game Reference In The Scott Pilgrim Movie.

From OC Weekly.

ZOMG - Let's Play Clash At Demonhead

Zo My God (or however you pronounce that), this edition of Let's Play where they tackle Clash At Demonhead is awesome.

Rowan Atkinson As Marc Almond

A cute vid of Roan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) impersonating Marc Almond from Soft Cell.

Machete Race War - Glenn Beck Was Developed To Counter Alex Jones

Aw, shuggidty duggity.

On Alex Jones' show Sunday, he elaborates how he was offered Glenn Beck's job and quotes from "The Overton Window". Man, do I ever hope this turns into a thing. I'd love to see this feud escalate.

Oh, and something about a race war.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

When I Die, I'm Sure My Last Moments Will Play Out Like A Game Of BLASTER.

This is BLASTER:

This is the plot of BLASTER:

This is part of the DMT-like experience of BLASTER:

As you travel down the never-ending spiral of madness that is BLASTER:

Seriously; as my death rattle gurgles out and my brain releases that final dose of DMT, I am convinced my soul will be released into a never-ending game of BLASTER.

Current high score: 128510 on BLASTER.

WTF 20: Well Isn't This Special.

Wow. This takes on so many different flavors of WTF, it's practically the Neapolitan ice cream of the genre.

Bonus: Carmelldansen

Billy Big Bang Blitz From Clash At Demonhead Cameo In Scott Pilgrim Game.

You can see him starting at the two minute mark, with the blue hair and gun. This was found via a Youtube profile devoted to the character.

Gauntlet: The Third Encounter.

Never thought of or even heard of this game before Engadget made the claim that the Android logo was ganked from it, but it looks super fun.

Well, except for the fact that apparently you had to hold the system sideways to play it.

Holy crap that looks frustrating.

Spirit Hoods Totally Stole My Fucking Idea.

These are Spirit Hoods:

Anyone that came to this site more than a few weeks ago might remember my old Blogger profile photo:

That's a pic of me from a house party somewhere around Halloween 2006. I made that hat from a beach towel I found at a thrift store. You can't see it, but it even has little paws dangling from it. Now, I'm not gonna flat out say that they stole my idea, but...

Oh wait, I already did. In the title even. They stole my fucking idea.

Fuck you Spirit Hoods.

Oh well, inb4 Hipster.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Democrats Must Be Taken Out Of Power Because... Wharblgarbl... Child Molesters.

Seriously, let me know if you can make a lick of sense out of what's going on in this Free Republic thread.

The Big Lebowski-Themed Bar Opens Up In Berlin.

Apparently, they serve White Russians.

Bonus: The address is Niederbarnimstr 23.

Who's Elizabeth Olsen?

I'm not sure either, but according to this video, Elizabeth Olson is apparently a cup of Earl Grey tea (1:27!).

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Facebook Community Page For "To Many"

A while back, Facebook started auto-creating community pages for stuff people were listing under their interests. This also included all the misspelled and grammatically incorrect stuff. So you wind up with something like this.

Look under "Related Posts" and "Related Global Posts". Now you can see just how many of your friends and fellow Facebook users can't get that phrase right.

I'd love to hear about any other misspelled fan and community pages (auto-created or not) that have a huge amount of followers as well. This entertains me quite a bit for some reason.

Glenn Beck Launches News Site.

Glenn Beck just launched his own news website, entitled The Blaze, which went live yesterday.

Also, apparently Beckerheads practice "Leave No Trace". Wouldn't have imagined the overlap in philosophy.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Wait, The 1978 Wurlitzer Funmaker Was Real?

I totally thought it was something they imagined up for Mission Hill (From Episode 6, "Unemployment: Part 1"), but no, it's a real instrument. And from the look of it, it totally lives up to it's name.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Fred Savage Isn't Dead.

Apparently during the Emmy's "In Memoriam" montage they accidentally included a pic of Fred Savage instead of Corey Haim. Or a pic of Corey Haim that looked like Fred Savage. I dunno. Didn't watch.

But there's always Jay Pinkerton's old comic where he does horrible things to Fred Savage. Enjoy.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Tim Heidecker "Live" At The Glenn Beck "Restoring Honor" Rally.

Tim Heidecker (of Tom Goes To The Mayor and Awesome Show) has been tweeting the events he sees live from the Glenn Beck rally, and it truly appears to be as historic and iconic an event as Beck claimed it would be.

Monsters Inc Youtube Poop: WAZOWSKI!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Gallagher Is a Paranoid, Right-Wing, Watermelon-Smashing Maniac.

A not so glowing, okay actually kind of depressing, review from The Stranger.

Wonder what the Juggalos thought of him at the Gathering.

Atilla - Billy Joel's Psychedelic Metal Band.

How have I never heard of this before now?

"[It's as if] a drill has punctured the center of your skull — it's that piercing, painful, and monotonous."
- Man, I would have jumped on a review like that when I was a teenager looking for music.

Amateur Australian Horror Film About Prosopagnosia

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

"Pre Crime" Tops Google Trends. Alex Jones Takes Credit.

In response to this article, Alex Jones asked his listeners to Google the term "pre crime" to find it. In response, the term "Pre Crime" hit the top Google Trending topic. In response to that, Jones's site Prison Planet blogged about it. In response to that, Prison Planet's article about the Google Trending status of the term "Pre Crime" is now the second most popular article under that same search term.

Monday, August 23, 2010


Amateur Commercial For Trader Joe's.

The Justin Bieber Show!

From Harry Partridge, The same guy who made Saturday Morning Watchmen. Also, Nicolas Cage Wants Cake.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Chocolate-Covered Bacon Burger. That Is All.

Behold The Brooklynite.

Also, I love the fact that there is a blog out called Bacon Today.

John Tucker Must Die Trailer Mashed Up With Teen Titans

John Tucker Must Die Trailer Mashed Up With Kingdom Hearts.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

When Jim Henson And The Muppets Vandalized NBC

Here's an awesome story about a mischievous pre-Sesame Street Jim Henson and friends playing a prank when kept waiting all day in the NBC studio.

Wow, That's Kinda Kreepy, K-Love.

Wendy's Beverage Training Rap.

I hope for the sake of everyone involved this thing was made in 1990, but I have a feeling it was made a couple of years ago.

Seriously tho, did it takes two minutes to explain this?

Hello This Is Peter Lorre Speaking...

Also, here's Peter Lorre on "What's My Line?"

Friday, August 20, 2010

Glenn Beck, Drawn By John Kricfalusi

You can find more of his recent caricatures here at his blog, including a truly inspired Simon Cowell and a quite creepy Palin.

WTF Is This Islamic Zygodactylous Strangeness?

Fucking Muslim chameleons, how do they work?

Snazzy Napper: Proof You Can Patent Any Stupid-Ass Useless Thing.

You know what else leaves your nose free for comfortable breathing? A goddamn blindfold. And I wish I knew what brand of glue were they huffing when they approved this unsettling tagline-

Ugh. First person I see sitting next to me with one of these things on gets a taste of this-

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Recieving a Twitter Feed On An Apple II.

How it works.

Wikipedia "Editors" Censor The Bilderberg Group's Nazi Ties.

Well, that's certainly a provocative headline, I wonder what kind of evidence will be present- OH HOLY HELL:

Wow. That's some website you've got there, Nothing remotely crazy looking there at all.

It's like a checklist:

Hyperlinks crammed into each other into a dense, Timecube-esque mess? Check!
Tons of unintentionally hilarious animated GIF's: Check!
*Bonus Points: Swastikas AND Twin Towers!*
Talk of the end times mixed in with conspiracy: Check!
Talk Of Prophecies: Check!

Holy crap. Enjoy.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Ann Coulter Used To Be Pretty Cute, In A Dorky Way.

I've seen this pic thrown around on the internet a bit, with various commentary. One thing nobody has pointed out is how absolutely adorable she is. I mean, those cheeks, that turtleneck, that cute little bob haircut, she's in the fencing club for godsakes...

I think I'm totally developing a crush on Ann Coulter, circa 1980 or so. I would totally have invited her out so we could sit across from each other in beanbag chairs, eating french fries and listening to Voices by Hall And Oates with a pair of giant headphones apiece. Her kiss would have been on my list, if you know what I mean.

Well, if I hadn't been like 3 years old when this pic was taken, that is.