Saturday, January 24, 2009

Dan The Norseman Reviews The Turbografx 16.

Wish the dude had more games, but this cat solved a problem I'd had for forever. Didn't realize you could hitch an RF cable to the TG-16 a la C64 or an Atari 2600. The RF boxes that came with the TG16 were crap; I've personally got half a dozen spares lying around.

However, Bonk itself is a good enough reason to own a TG-16. It's a brilliant, original platformer. If they had ever made a sequel that was worth a crap, they could have had the longevity of Sonic, before that franchise went to crap too.

Inside Edition Covering The Mario Brothers.

F*ck it, we're doing it live. There is nothing about this video that is not awesome. I WISH I would have scored a game counselor job at Nintendo back in the day. Oh, and witness the most glorious mullet you've ever seen in your life @ 3:15.

I love that the dude playing the game totally dies after killing the Hammer Bros just seconds before.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Wanna Joust?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Things Have Changed (Part 1).

In his book "The Hardest Working Man In Show Business", Ron Jeremy revealed (heh) that in the mid-90s that he performed as "Blisterface" in something called "Bone Chillers", which believe it or not did not turn out to be a really, really strange porno.

What came up when we Googled "Bone Chillers Porno"... eek.

What it did turn out to be, however, was a Disney childrens television show. He explained that, as the monster character, they layered him under so much makeup as to be completely unidentifiable and left him out of the credits to avoid scandal.

Now, if you're old enough to drink and your children aren't, you: a) should keep a better eye on your liquor cabinet, and b) are right around the age that, in your childhood, you probably caught an episode or two of "Pee Wee's Playhouse", a chaotic childrens variety show centered around a houndstooth-suit clad man-child with a funny haircut and funnier voice named Pee Wee Herman who talked to his furniture.

It's also possible that your non-legally drinking kids and their greasy little friends have probably tried a little pot. While doing so, they have probably perused one of the many critically-acclaimed Cheech And Chong movies. One of said movies, "Nice Dreams", invloves a plot revolving around one Howie "Hamburger" Dude, a houndstooth-suit clad man-child with a similar funny haircut and voice that loves cocaine, rants about being a hamburger, and winds up in a mental institution, where he may or may not talk to the furniture.

So, somewhere along the pitch making process of this show, an executive had to decide, "...wait, that cokehead escaped mental patient from the Cheech and Chong movie that steals all the money with a fake check? I can't see anything wrong with making a kids show based on that character!" Essentially, it's as if the family-friendly sitcom "Full House" had been retro-fitted to where Danny Tanner was an extension of Bob Saget's character in "Half Baked"

Did daddy tell you two about the time he s*ck*d d**k for coke?

Actually, on further reflection, that would have been awesome too.

Believe it or not, the show turned out freaking genius. A theme song composed by Cyndi Lauper and Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo, soundtrack by Danny Elfman and The Residents, a pre-dreadlocked Rob Zombie as a production assistant, and a cast including Phil Hartman as a sea captain and Morpheus as a jheri-curled cowboy... It was a totally insane televised shrine to weird.

Pee Wee, I've brought you out here to tell you about... The Matrix.

The original edginess of the character payed off as well, with veiled subtle entendres thrown in the dialog to create the most cross-generational humor seen since the Bugs Bunny cartoons of the 1940s.

Oh and did I mention a ton of ample cleavage?

Unfortunately, after an indecent exposure arrest, Paul Reuben's kid's show career was ruined.

I'm gonna come back to this topic, and discuss other kid's shows with premises that would have never been approved now.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

All Three Endings To Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest

Stevie B Is The New RickRoll.

Monday, January 12, 2009

A Pretty Decent Circuit's Edge Fansite.

I was having a discussion recently about my favortie cyber-punk novel, which just happens to be When Gravity Fails, by George Alec Effinger.

In 1989, Infocom released an excellent RPG based on the novel, Circuit's Edge. Here's a sparse, but decent fan site that includes a few scans and a couple of walkthroughs.

Incidentally, this is not Effinger's first dealings with Infocom. He actually wrote a short novel serializing the Zork franchise.

The Cabazon Dinosaurs.

In case you ever wondered what were those dinosaurs from those pinnacle scenes of Pee Wee's Big Adventure and The Wizard, and especially if you ever wanted to visit them, you should know they are called the Cabazon Dinosaurs, created by Claude Bell to create publicity for his Wheel Inn diner. Bell also did sculpting for Knott's Berry Farm.

Believe it or not, rather than being just sculptures, both are actually habitable buildings. However, there's not really a lunchbox left behind in the head of the T-Rex (trust me I've looked).

Here's the official website.

Audiosurfing They Might Be Giants

This cat here is running through a level of Audiosurf to "Where Your Eyes Don't Go" by They Might Be Giants (a personal favorite).

This Guy Replicates A Round Of Pac Man On A Stylophone!

Super Mario Brothers Theme On A Balalaika.

Now THIS is the essence of what Dorkstuff is about.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

John Kricafalusi's Personal Blog.

Just subscribed to John Kricafalusi's (Ren and Stimpy, New Adventures Of Mighty Mouse) personal blog, a highly insightful and surprisingly theory heavy project. I would highly suggest you do the same. He goes through and compares Old Disney to New Disney, and discusses the many, many projects he's been part of over the years.

Snopes Toxin Du Jour Page.

If you have friends and family that continually send you chain emails regarding some new poisonous product, or some new way the kids are getting high and dying, you may want to bookmark this specific page. It covers everything from aspartame to radon, including some rumors that turn out to be true. Definitely a useful resource.

Massive Compendium Of Swordquest Goodness.

Here's a great site with all kinds of scans, solutions, and photos of the contest winners.

Technical Details On Throbbing Gristle's Customized 'Grsitleizer' Pedals.

Here's an article on Throbbing Gristle's webpage where Chris Carter discusses their custom "Gristle-izer" pedals.