Bette Midler Is Married To One Of The Kipper Kids?

Anyone who partied with me since 1998 has been forced to watch this strange VHS tape I scored from a drifter junkie punk rock friend (along with some great Dallas punk EPs, Policy FTW!) for about $20. The tape with the graffiti scrawl on it that says "Smells Like Butterscotch, Yo!". You either already know what I'm talking about, or have this to look forward to, some booze-and-lulz sodden 3AM.

It turned out to be a great score, a collage of Dangerous Brothers Episodes, Liquid Television stuff, footage of him humping his girlfriend, The Butthole Surfers Movie, an awesome film about lesbian persecution in the 50s, scratchy animation set to authentic alien abduction confessions, and "K.O. Kippers", my first introduction to the Kipper Kids - Harry and Harry Kipper.

Harry and Harry Kipper, if you've never heard of them, are for all practical purposes the unholy identical twins of Pere Ubu and Popeye.

They seemed really familar to me, and they were. Turns out they had bit parts in UHF and the Oingo Boingo movie "Forbidden Planet".

For some reason, it took me a decade to look these guys up on Wikipedia, and it turns out that one of them has been married to Bette Midler since 1984. I'm unsure why I find this strange at this point, but I do.

Anyway, here's a video with Bette Midler and both Kipper Kids from that period.

The Most Famous Songs Weird Al Never Wrote.

This is the "Not Al" page, which attempts to document every song wrongly attributed to "Weird" Al Yankovic, as well as list the actual author.

Getting Your Bacon's Worth.

If you haven't had a chance to check out www.cockeyed.com, you should check out their entertaining series "How Much Is Inside".

In just shy of 50 adventures, this guy makes a 73 foot long Cheerios necklace, simulates the huge messy puddle an entire human body's content of blood would make, lipsticks up a girls legs almost up to the knee, figures out what kind of suitcase will hold a million dollars, and tapes up an 100 foot long strip of pornographic images down an elementary school hallway. All in the name of science.

And he seems to have a lot of fun doing it.

He comes up with several surprising results. Like working out that a 2-liter bottle of soda contains 2 liters of soda and 4 liters of carbon dioxide. Or that cheap batteries, while they last half as long as brand-name batteries, are actually 3 times as economical by price per hour.

But this one one really suprised me. He weighs out a package of Oscar Meyer bacon bits, and compares it by weight to actual cooked Oscar Meyer bacon. Turns out, bacon bits cost half as much by weight as actual cooked bacon.

For some reason, I always thought it would be the other way around. Weird.

The Condiment Packet Museum.

It's here, you're here, you might as well check it out. You know you want to.

A frighteningly thourough collection (currently at 724!) of modern condiment packages from restaurants.

EDIT (05/2010): The bigger, 929-entry museum is no more. I'm currently linking to another one I found. Yes, you read that right. There is apparently more than one online condiment packet museum in existence, or at least there was. The one I'm linking to now was apparently founded in 2005, so hopefully that means it will stick around. Also, this one offers buttons. Yay!

Hey, it could have value. This guy and a hot chick found out that the average ketchup packet contains 2.5 cents of ketchup. And that's in 2001 dollars!

Marzipan From Homestar Runner Dressed As Stevie Ray Vaughan.

The above image is from this year's Homestar Runner Halloween cartoon "Most In The Graveyard". Marzipan is dressed as Stevie Ray Vaughan. Thought some of ya might get a kick out of that.