Millimeters Matter - Tiny Catupult Shooting Pies At Bugs.

A tiny catapult shooting pies at bugs. No really.

18 Months Of Braces In Under 60 Seconds.

Awesome. Eww. Awesome.

Who's Elizabeth Olsen?

I'm not sure either, but according to this video, Elizabeth Olson is apparently a cup of Earl Grey tea (1:27!).

Amateur Commercial For Trader Joe's.

Snazzy Napper: Proof You Can Patent Any Stupid-Ass Useless Thing.

You know what else leaves your nose free for comfortable breathing? A goddamn blindfold. And I wish I knew what brand of glue were they huffing when they approved this unsettling tagline-



Ugh. First person I see sitting next to me with one of these things on gets a taste of this-

Creepy Facebook Ad Is Creepy.

I was kind of a late starter to the whole Facebook thing, and now that I'm on there and found most everybody I know, people are fleeing in droves. Many of the reasons they've given were perfectly reasonable, privacy issues and such, but one has just never seemed to match up with reality for me.

If Facebook has spent the year or so I've been on it gathering some sort of database on my interests to customise the ads that show up, something has been going horribly, horribly wrong. Why else would I be getting this ad for what I can only assume is a referee job for some Italian sport that has recently come into fashion:



And when the ads aren't completely baffling, they advocate a position so far removed from my personal beliefs that it's staggering:



Seriously, it's like I've got a personal Tea Party protest marching up and down the right margin of my Facebook front page.

I mean, Facebook can offer adspace to anyone they want. I'm not arguing that. But if the ads that show up on my front page are generated based on the interests they have logged for me, I can only infer they're deliberately chosen to upset me and piss me off. That just seems, well, counterproductive.

I'll be 33 next month; a postage-stamp sized ad in the corner of a social networking site is hardly going to inspire me to reverse my political stance. Have they just given up on ever getting click-through revenue from me and want to be bitchy about it now?

Then a week ago I get the ad that nearly makes me delete my Facebook profile right then and there:



Then I shake off my knee-jerk indignant response that I was already a teenager by the time Paxil was invented, much less possibly prescribed to anyone in my family, but frankly I resent what you are implying there Facebook. I shake off the idea that Facebook could somehow have access to my medical records or even my Myspace blog (where I've mentioned my experience with Paxil), because that is the kind of thoughts a crazy person has.

Frankly, even as a randomly generated ad, it's creepy enough.

Then it hits me. Paxil was invented in 1992. That would make the kids of some of the first prescribed patients 18 now. A bunch of 18 year olds with emotions running rampant. Probably away from family for the first time in college and confused about life. And there, in the corner of their social networking site, is an ad suggesting that all that confusion could be blamed squarely on a parent.

Damn, Facebook. You shady.

WTF Is Going On Here 9 - Crying Number/Insult Number.

Wait, what the? Who would?

It's probably just a tape loop going "You're paying $2 a minute for this, you idiot."

Funny thing, you probably got the same loop if you called this number in the 1990s -

Writing Effective Sales Copy To Increase Your Sales.

Just click here, you idiot.

Don't Make Them Drag You Down To Club Centipede.

Wow. This commercial is pretty psychotic. I like the upbeat music playing as everyone is dragged underground to their deaths. A little bit of looking around, and it seems like this commercial is a sequel to this classic:

Gun's N Roses Demand Apology From Dr. Pepper.

Apparently the Dr. Pepper campaign offering free soda if GNR released 'Chinese Democracy' in 2008 backfired in a big way.

I was looking for an up to date version of the story, but the "Chinese Democracy When?" blog has apparently shut itself down to only invited guests.

Beautiful.

This. Is. A. Real. Unedited. Advertisement. For. A. Real. Product.

It's called the Rejuvenique RJV10KIT Facial Toning Mask Kit. But it looks like something you'd buy in a Philip K. Dick novel.

Now you know what to get me for Christmas. If you really, really like me, you'll include an Alex Chiu immortality ring. And a Razor Gator.

<3

"Botox seems pretty tame compared to facial self-tazing", to quote Antinous from Boing Boing.

Baconaisse, Because Everything Should Taste Like Bacon.

The new, hip sandwich spread, from the guys who make Bacon Salt.

Snagged from Boing Boing.

Free Dr.Pepper To Everyone (But Slash And Buckethead)!

First of all, no I am not getting money for this =P

Second of all, I know the whole "Dr.Pepper Will Give Everyone In America A Free Soda If Guns'N Roses Releases 'Chinese Democracy' This Year" is kinda old news by now too.

I just got through reading the text of the press release (link above provided by the obviously devoted fan/Dr.Pepper marketing agent responsible for the website 'Chinese Democracy When?')

Couple of things caught my attention, and actually gave me a little chuckle:

1) Apparently Slash and Buckethead are excluded, and will not get a free soda. Slash's response is here.

2) The wording itself is pretty humorous as well. Can't speak for everyone, but being told an album is "Dr.Pepper for the ears" isn't exactly gonna make me run out and buy it.

Rar.

FIRE BURNS WOOD!

Battle Beasts FTW!  I have quite a nice collection!

Admin's Note: Not many people know that this toy line was originally intended as an unlicensed spin-off of Transformers. The Japanese name of the toy-line was "Beastformers", which was kinda silly cause they didn't actually transform into anything. My younger brother used to collect these, I had a few myself. They rocked.

And HERE's a great price/rarity guide for them.

Star-Studded Amiga 2000 Commercial

A late-80s commercial for the Amiga 2000 featuring Tommy Lasorda, several NASA astronauts, The Pointer Sisters, and Tip O'Neill. Background music sound familiar? It's from the "Goonies" soundtrack. Strangely enough, they used that track in several Amiga commercials, including the following:



Indeed Steevie, you are a rodent.

"Gimme An Atari 2600, and EVERYTHING That Comes With It!"

"Manhunter: San Francisco" Authentic Sierra Online Promotional Trailer, 1989

Women Of The Future Will Make The Moon A Cleaner Place To Live

From Boing Boing. Click on the pic to see full article.